FiberOne - the whole story
Cardboard? No.
Delicious? Okay, fine (Jim Gaffigan's evolution of the granola bar sums it up perfectly)
Consume more than one serving for lunch because you ran out of your cottage cheese/soybean/blueberries drivel? Gastrointestinally devastating (or two words you'll be saying every 84 seconds, "Excuse me" or "Oh, man!" or "My goodness!").
Grungevig
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Loss of consortium
Your spouse be injured, so you say
By the fault of another (negligence, not neglige)
She's unable to carry on in her regular way?
No dishes, no dusting, no snacks made of Chex
No dinner, no laundry, no chauffering, and (gasp) NO SEX!
Woman no can iron...egads, what's next?!?
Neither worry nor fear
Grungevig is here!
Has a secret for you (please don't jeer)
The law allows you money
When another's negligence hurts your honey
And renders her unable to be your maid (or bedroom bunny).
It's like getting cash for doing life
(Though you'd never pay your wife)
It's only when you do it is there strife
For doing the same things as your wife.
By the fault of another (negligence, not neglige)
She's unable to carry on in her regular way?
No dishes, no dusting, no snacks made of Chex
No dinner, no laundry, no chauffering, and (gasp) NO SEX!
Woman no can iron...egads, what's next?!?
Neither worry nor fear
Grungevig is here!
Has a secret for you (please don't jeer)
The law allows you money
When another's negligence hurts your honey
And renders her unable to be your maid (or bedroom bunny).
It's like getting cash for doing life
(Though you'd never pay your wife)
It's only when you do it is there strife
For doing the same things as your wife.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Ode to a "Cankle"?
Ode to a . . . "Cankle"?
Alleged meshing of soleus and talus
Tho' it may sound cute and fun
'Tis a term of pure malice.
Refers to a spot that, because of fat,
Blends the ankle with the calf
And the calf with the ankle.
Nobody wants that.
Alleged meshing of soleus and talus
Tho' it may sound cute and fun
'Tis a term of pure malice.
Refers to a spot that, because of fat,
Blends the ankle with the calf
And the calf with the ankle.
Nobody wants that.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Caring for Kerrigan
When I was a senior in high school (1993-94), I thought Nancy Kerrigan was *hot*. My guy friends thought I was mad about a horse.
Then a blondie jealous of my Nancy's skills orchestrated an attack on sweet Nancy's knee. Kerrigan's wet pleas of "Why?! Why?!" prompted from me but one reply (a sympathetic cry).
I then got contact lenses.
The woman I thought was a babe turned out to be less. Now among the seeing, I realized my perception of luscious a mess. For Kerrigan I no longer longed.
Three days ago, I thought of my sightless high school crush on Kerrigan for the first time since high school. I searched her on wikipedia and found that Harding's attack on Kerrigan occurred January 6, 1994--exactly 16 years ago today. Boo!
Grungevig
Then a blondie jealous of my Nancy's skills orchestrated an attack on sweet Nancy's knee. Kerrigan's wet pleas of "Why?! Why?!" prompted from me but one reply (a sympathetic cry).
I then got contact lenses.
The woman I thought was a babe turned out to be less. Now among the seeing, I realized my perception of luscious a mess. For Kerrigan I no longer longed.
Three days ago, I thought of my sightless high school crush on Kerrigan for the first time since high school. I searched her on wikipedia and found that Harding's attack on Kerrigan occurred January 6, 1994--exactly 16 years ago today. Boo!
Grungevig
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
